Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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