i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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