The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
