she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize