I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
