It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
