Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
