The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You may now shotgun with the bride
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
