gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So I just went to clothing optional bar
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
