If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
this boner is exhausting
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
