Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
