She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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