So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Panties = found
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
