i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
