Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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