did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
