Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
