I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize