i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
