do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
