this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
