it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize