come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
