3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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