Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
