You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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