Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
