thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
