Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
is it fun? or sober?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
