"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
