I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
