We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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