I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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