I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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