You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
