Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
