I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
