I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize