i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
