My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
