It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
