I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
