i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I had to cum in my sink.
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