I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
only if we run a train.
done.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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