I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
