He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
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