You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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