I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
