I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
