eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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