didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
