That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
