So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
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