If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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