I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
