Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
