Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
