well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
